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In this feature, VICTOR AYENI examines how deceptive individuals posing as attractive men and women on various online dating platforms have become serious threats to unsuspecting users, leading to cases of sexual exploitation, theft, and even murder
The memory of the sordid incident that befell Gbemisola Oworu in September 2019 clung to her mind like a shadow—always present and impossible to ignore.
At 27, Oworu was an undergraduate at a tertiary institution in Ogun State when her roommate introduced her to a popular dating app. Not deeply familiar with the dynamics of online dating, she was encouraged by her friend to use the app to connect with attractive male acquaintances beyond her academic environment.
“The way she explained it to me, she said I was too boring, too unexposed, and too focused on my studies,” Oworu told Sunday PUNCH.
“She already had a boyfriend, and I felt like I was missing out. That was when she introduced me to this online dating platform.”
Initially, Oworu was sceptical about meeting a total stranger and sharing personal details with him. However, her reservations softened as she began chatting with a 25-year-old man on the site.
Her virtual date, simply known as Tobi, resided in Lagos and claimed to be an employed graduate living with his uncle.
“From the first chat, Tobi was quite an interesting person. He told me he was still staying with his uncle in Lagos. We had long chats, even on video, and he sounded like a decent guy.”
“There were days he would even video-call me while on his way to church, so I naturally assumed he was a spiritual person. I didn’t know it was all an act to fool me,” Oworu recalled, her voice tinged with regret.
After two months of online interaction, Tobi invited Oworu to travel from Ibadan, Oyo State, to meet him in Lagos. She explained, “Something kept telling me ‘no,’ but I didn’t listen. Tobi said his uncle and his wife would be out of town that weekend, leaving him with their kids. I thought I’d be safe.”
Feeling reassured, Oworu decided to make the trip on September 6, a Friday. “When I saw Tobi in person for the first time, I was really excited. He lived in one of the estates in Lekki. We went to an eatery that afternoon, had a good time, and hung out with his friends. Everything seemed perfect.”
However, Oworu grew uncomfortable when Tobi’s friends followed them to his uncle’s house, and there were no children as Tobi had mentioned. “It was a short-let apartment, and his friends were smoking, drinking, and partying in the sitting room. Tobi took me to what I thought was his room and began touching me. I wasn’t comfortable, especially with people in the next room, so I asked him to wait until his friends left.”
Tobi’s demeanor changed abruptly. “He suddenly looked mean and insisted we do it right there, so I reluctantly went along. Afterward, he just left the room. That night, three of his other friends came in, one after the other, and took advantage of me. That’s when I realised it was a setup; I was the only girl there. The next morning, Tobi handed me some money, and I left,” Oworu recounted.
Though she kept her ordeal to herself for about two weeks, Oworu became withdrawn, lost her appetite, and struggled with insomnia. Eventually, she confided in a nurse, who helped her get medical assistance and recover.
Tragedy after meeting a virtual date
When 23-year-old Precious Yusuf left her home in Asaba, Delta State, on October 22 to meet a male friend from a dating website called iHappy, she had no inkling that it would be her last outing.
On that day, the lady told a nearby friend that she was going to meet an online acquaintance.
The next morning, October 23, at around 7:30 am, Yusuf reportedly called her friend to say she was heading home.
Tragically, that was the last time anyone heard from her. On Thursday, her lifeless body was discovered along DLA Road in Asaba.
Police, upon reaching the scene, identified her body and launched a preliminary investigation.
The Police Public Relations Officer, Bright Edafe, confirmed that an investigation is ongoing, and Yusuf’s body has been sent for an autopsy. Edafe advised young women to be cautious when meeting online friends and noted that the state’s Commissioner of Police, Olufemi Abaniwonda, also urged young women to exercise vigilance when interacting with acquaintances from dating websites and social media platforms.
Virtual territories
Online dating platforms in Nigeria are vibrant spaces offering a diverse array of romantic options. While some apps cater to casual hookups, others are designed to connect users looking for serious relationships. Many of these platforms are free, requiring only a smartphone app download, while some charge fees—either weekly, monthly, or annually—for special features.
Globally, over 300 million people are estimated to use dating apps, with around 20 million paying for premium features.
In 2023, Tinder topped the list as the most downloaded dating app, followed by Bumble, which launched in 2014 and includes unique networking features.
When our correspondent downloaded Tinder, he observed that users swipe right to like and left to pass. If both parties swipe right, they’re matched and can chat.
Notably, Tinder prevents matches from sending voice or video recordings, so users often exchange phone numbers to continue on messaging apps. On Bumble, swiping operates similarly, but only women can initiate conversations in heterosexual matches.
Other popular dating apps in Nigeria include Badoo, OkCupid, Zoosk, eHarmony, Friendite, Naija Connexion, SweetMeet, and Bingdum. Research by Pew shows that only about 10 per cent of online dating interactions lead to committed relationships or marriages.
Deception and infection
Several dating app users shared a mix of positive and negative experiences with Sunday PUNCH.
Foluke Waheed, an entrepreneur, has generally positive encounters on Tinder and Bumble, relying on gut instincts to steer clear of potential risks.
However, Maxwell Orji, a 32-year-old banker, was less fortunate. In 2021, he met a woman on Tinder who initially seemed to match his taste, but he regretted the encounter after the night they spent together. Her appearance without makeup was vastly different, and Orji felt disappointed, even shocked.
Another user, Kolade Ogundipe, a barber, recalled a peculiar encounter after meeting a woman on Badoo. She visited him in Ikorodu, leading to an experience he described as unsettling.
“This lady was well-shaped and attractive, and I won’t lie, the sex was mind-blowing. After about four rounds, I was still in bed around 6 am when she said she needed to call her sister outside.
“I noticed she took a call and went outside. I went to the bathroom, and that’s when she made her move. She stole my phone, wallet, and debit card, then slipped away quietly. I nearly lost my mind. I felt like a fool,” ogindipe told Sunday PUNCH.
A real estate surveyor, who gave his name only as Sukanmi, recounted a similar experience, saying he met a woman on Zoosk, who seemed like a dream come true.
“We first went to the cinema, and then I rushed home because I was really excited. The experience was enjoyable, but I didn’t use protection. About a week later, I noticed difficulty urinating. That’s when I realised this girl had infected me with an STI,” he shared.
‘I Invite, rob ladies in hotels’
In September, a viral video surfaced, showing Olivia (surname withheld), a suspected sex worker, undressed and tied to a chair by a man who had booked her into a hotel in Abuja.
Many online commenters speculated it was a “money ritual,” but within a week, the Nigeria Security and Civil Defence Corps, FCT Command, arrested the suspect, Joseph Efe.
The NSCDC Commandant, Dr Olusola Odumosu explained that Efe, a confessed Yahoo boy (cyber fraudster), met Olivia on a hookup site called Coded Runs and lured her to the hotel with the intent to rob her. According to preliminary investigations, Efe targeted young women in cities like Port Harcourt, Lagos, Benin, and Abuja, using hotel rooms as a base to steal phones and access victims’ bank accounts.
Arriving in Abuja on September 17, Efe invited Olivia to his hotel. After her arrival around 9 am, he intimidated and bound her, but, finding no money in her bank account, he took only her Android phone before fleeing. “I tied her so she wouldn’t chase after me. I told her to undress so that by the time she untied herself and got dressed, I’d be long gone,” Efe admitted.
Before his arrest, Efe revealed he had successfully stolen from four other women in various cities.
Olivia later recounted, “I live in Enugu but visit Abuja for business. When I arrived at the hotel, he asked me if I was afraid of death. He said if I cooperated, he wouldn’t harm me like he had with other girls. He said his friend was outside and if I made a wrong move, he’d inject me with something.”
“I pleaded with him; he slapped me and asked me to strip my clothes. I tried to get to the door but it was locked by him and he held the keys,” she said.
She alleged that he used her dress to tie her hands but when it was not tight enough, he took out a cellophane tape.
“He turned the television volume very high and blocked my mouth with a handkerchief. He warned me not to make any noise and left the room.
“I later noticed movement outside the door and saw the colour of the uniform the person was wearing and was relieved that it was the hotel staff,” she added.
“I struggled and dragged myself to the window and banged it hard. Luckily, the guy heard me and I made a sign pointing in the direction the suspect went,” she said.
According to Odumosu, it was while Efe was trying to escape from the hotel premises that he was chased and caught by NSCDC operatives.
Online serial rapist
In May, a 38-year-old man, Belema Ibama, who allegedly lured young women through online dating sites to hotels where he sexually abused them was arrested by the Rivers State Police Command.
The suspect, a father of four, was alleged to have registered on dating sites as “Mr Anderson,” and claimed to be a British engineer who worked in an offshore oil rig.
Ibama was arrested after more than 20 of his victims across the state filed different reports at the police station about a certain engineer Anderson, who they alleged raped them after inviting them over for a date.
According to police’s investigation, the suspect had drugged, raped and robbed many women since 2019 and had been remanded in prison as an awaiting trial inmate for six months in 2021.
However, he was released after the case against him was dismissed due to a lack of witnesses.
Ibama’s victims claimed that when they arrived at the agreed location, he offered them a drink, after which they passed out.
They alleged that when they woke up, their valuables were missing, and money had been withdrawn from their bank accounts.
One of the ladies said she chatted with the suspect on Tinder for the first time on January 7, and they met physically on January 13 at a hotel along Abuloma Road, Port Harcourt.
She described how he offered her a drink that made her fuzzy after a few minutes of drinking it.
She fell asleep and awoke to find that her iPhone valued at N180,000, her handbag containing N28,000, ATM and ID cards were all missing.
She proceeded to report the matter to the Anti-Kidnapping Unit of the Rivers State Police Command and a hunt for the suspect began.
A ritualist gang
On February 29, a major suspect in a case of alleged serial murders and sales of human parts in Ogun State, Adebayo Azeez, narrated how he used a dating app, MyChat, to lure and brutally murder seven women mainly for what he said were money ritual purposes.
The 32-year-old who was paraded at Ogun State Police Command headquarters, Eleweran, Abeokuta, confessed to being part of a gang which specialised in killing women for “money ritual.”
Sunday PUNCH gathered that seven other members of the alleged ritualists gang were later apprehended on February 15, 2024.
During the parade, the state Commissioner of Police, Abiodun Alamutu, revealed that Azeez, who had been evading arrest, was captured at his hideout on February 23.
Alamutu noted that there was a collaboration between Azeez and a herbalist named Awuraji, who helped him in strangling the victims to death.
Narrating his modus operandi, Azeez explained, “I got the ladies from MyChat, a hookup app. When contacted by Awuraji, I would negotiate with the victims on the app, finalise the deal, and provide my address in Atan-Ota. I would pick them up and transport them to Awuraji’s house, where we executed the heinous act. I joined the gang in September 2023 and participated in the murder of seven women. I do not know the ultimate purpose of the group; my role was merely to source victims and collect payment.”
Police urge caution
In his reaction to the growing cases of sextortion, blackmail and cybercrimes, the Nigeria Police Force Public Relations Officer, Olumuyiwa Adejobi, urged individuals to exercise discretion on dating apps.
“In a digital age where connections and relationships are often forged through digital platforms, we are increasingly aware of the importance of discretion and vigilance in our virtual interactions,” he said.
Citing a case of sextortion, cyberbullying, character defamation and blackmail by a user of a dating app, Adejobi explained that the incident in question involved a complainant who, like many men and women, sought companionship through a dating app.
“After months of communication, agreed to meet a young lady named Okpara Joan Chizaram, who insisted on visiting his home.
“The encounter resulted in consensual activities, but little did he know that his trust would be betrayed in a most invasive manner. Apparently, Chizaram made a video of the encounter and began to blackmail the man in question with it.
“Following a report lodged by the victim against her, the police revealed, during interrogation, that it was her stock in trade to meet men online, engage in consensual acts with them only to record the entire encounter to be used for extortion purposes.”
‘Exhibit cyber vigilance’
Commenting on the issue, a cyber-safety advocate and publisher of Internet Safety magazine, Rotimi Onadipe, explained that many people fall victim to criminals who use online dating apps due to little or no knowledge about preventive measures they ought to take.
He identified desperation and gullibility as two common causes that predispose dating app users to fall into the traps set for them by criminals who use fake profiles to deceive people.
“There is nothing wrong with searching for good dates online. In fact, some people meet their life partners through dating sites or social media, but one need to be very careful. Security measures must always be put in place. These bad guys are desperate to get rich at all costs due to economic hardship.
“In today’s digital age, online dating requires vigilance and adoption of security measures, because criminals are taking advantage of vulnerable people through social media apps and online dating apps. Many people, both young and old, have become victims of fraud, identity theft, assassination, kidnapping, organ harvesting and money rituals.
“Users shouldn’t rely on profile pictures; people can catfish using someone else’s photo. Spend much time studying and communicating with a person you meet online and don’t be in a rush to fall in love,” Onadipe explained.
Also speaking, a tech expert and trade operations officer, Francis Tochi, in an interview with Sunday PUNCH, advised dating app users to limit the personal details they put on virtual platforms and also scrutinise the people they invite to their homes.
He explained that some dating apps indicate the location or the distance between you and a potential match and this information could be uncovered by someone with bad intentions.
Tochi added, “People need to keep everything they do with potential dates within the app. Avoid sharing phone numbers, and most importantly, no matter how drunk you are, avoid taking photos or videos of yourself in compromising situations. These things can come back to haunt people years later.
“Inviting a stranger into the privacy of your home is a risk. To prevent any danger, make sure you carefully check your potential date on social media and confirm their identity before making a move or inviting them.”
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